…From the beginning of the creation, Elohim ‘made them male and female.’ For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh,’ so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Everyone wants to find true love. It is either the first thing on a person’s bucket list, or the last. There are countless books and articles on the subject of How To Find The Perfect Spouse, etc. in Christian circles for singles looking to have the Perfect marriage. What I find exaggerated and annoying is that they give you all the ways to find that person while on another page they tell you that there is no such thing as the fairytale Prince Charming. Here is my understanding about relationships of the marital kind:
no one is perfect and marriage is not a blissful release from being lonely or single; it is a ministry in itself that must constantly be worked out through the thick and thin—for better or for worse.
The only rules that the scripture places on marriage are 1. Do not be yoked with an unbeliever; and 2. Marriage is to be with a man and woman, never the same sex. And if you really want to dig deeper, Yahweh intended marriage to last a lifetime. In my opinion, the way two people come together is a divine orchestration that has been apparent since the beginning. Yahweh brought Eve to Adam after He made Eve from Adam. Yahweh is the true Matchmaker.
The next thing I would like to point out is that marriage is not for the lonely or the faint of heart. You are constantly working with each other, as a team, to keep the fire of love going. Marriage is something that is to be taken seriously—in fact, you shouldn’t even enter a relationship unless your goal is to marry. My rule of thumb is that unless you enter a relationship with a firm commitment to marrying, don’t even enter a relationship at all. Commitment should be the first thing you have in your mind, it is something that ought to be thought out carefully beforehand. Once you commit, breaking that commitment should not be thought of. When you promise yourself to someone, you are creating a bond of love and trust. If a bond is broken so are the ties of trust, which would be hard to earn back.
As for the role of the parents, I believe that the two people should have control to make their own decision in the relationship, excluding the scenario of an arranged marriage. When a person can think on their own, that’s the time when a parent’s job is to be a guide to their children, pointing out possibilities and concerns they have about certain decisions in their life. So the way I see it, unless there is an extreme danger for either party, the parents ought to let both sides choose what they want. I have seen so many situations where parents become biased because they don’t like the guy/girl who was chosen by their son/daughter. Yes, children are under their father as long as they live in their family’s house, but never in the scripture is it seen where their lives are dictated by what their parents believe or want. If Yahweh brings two people together, and they both believe that He orchestrated it, then the parents must seek His direction; and if there is no real reason to prevent the relationship, they should not stand in the way. I believe this for anything a person is called to by the Heavenly Father.
My conclusion is that there should be no set rules for a relationship, only guidelines to keep the two people from having serious regrets. Really, the best way to insure a positive relationship with a person is to work on becoming the person you would want your future spouse to marry, building a firm relationship with Yahweh and focus on Him. If you are focused on using your life for the glory of the Creator, odds are, you wont walk into any traps. But if you make your life goal marriage, you are sure to either be miserable and single for the rest of your life, or hurry into a relationship that you will later regret.
You cannot place a deadline on
the One who knows the number of your days.
Marriage is a ministry by itself. Prepare, wait, and hold fast. Give the pen to Yahweh and let Him write your life and love story, He is never one to disappoint when you give Him full control.