Today we welcome a guest post from a brother in Messiah…
Just recently I watched bits and pieces of a documentary covering middle east girls that live in this country and their views on marriage, relationships and purity. Something that every observer automatically notices is that the media in this country and probably in the west in general immediately puts everyone who has more or less scriptural views on that topic into the “they are so medieval“ or “they don´t belong into the 21st century“ category. It was both depressing and sobering to see how the reporter proclaimed extra-marital intercourse and boyfriend/girlfriend relationship as something normal that shouldn’t be questioned and anyone who disagreed with that and especially the girls who claimed that their virginity was part of their honor and a sign or their purity and a gift for their later husbands is apparently nuts.
Throughout the entire society an attitude has been developed which categorically excludes even the thought of a woman’s virginity to be something important and something that shouldn’t be easily lost. But it doesn’t stop here. A woman’s virginity can be easily destroyed but the heart of both men and women can be crushed irreversibly and irrepairably as well, in what is nowadays called a relationship.
I remember how one of my teachers in school and even some folks from my former church’s youth group used to try to convince me that I’d have to have a girlfriend, touch her, be alone with her, go on parties with her in order for a relationship or married life to work out. I didn’t believe them then and the statistics don’t really seem to prove their point since the divorce rate in this country is extremely high, despite the fact that probably all of these divorced couples where boyfriend/girlfriend of each other before getting married and probably engaging in other physical things as well. This alone is disastrous for any society and usually the main victims are the children who grow up in such an environment and learn that it is normal to switch partners every five to ten years or so.
But there is another serious impact that these circumstances have on the men and women themselves as well and that is being hurt from within. How many guys have promised to travel to the orbit and bring the stars down to earth to a girl and later on turned out to not really care about her at all? How many girls have played with the feelings of men and given them false hopes by blinking a few times with their eyes and letting the man do their will and become almost like a slave? In the end either one of them will end up being hurt, possibly incapable of trusting another man/woman ever again, possibly incapable of being in a healthy relationship again.
As a guy, I can thus say that it is very important for both boys and girls to protect their bodies and minds from fornication, but to also protect their hearts. Personally I’ve seen hearts being broken too often to count and it was both men and women who were the cause of the victim. My heart was broken a few times as well. I believe that the scriptural model is the best for mankind. If you wanna be involved with each other, you’ll have to go all the way. Unless you takeover the responsibilities of married life, you will not get to enjoy it’s fruits. Unless you are serious about it………..well, unless you are, don’t even think about it :-).
Scripturally, the potential partners would thus involve their parents and usually both Dad’s would come together and check out the potential spouses. If they approve and the potential couple approves after having get to know each other they’d then be betrothed, a state where they’d practically be married but the daughter would still live in her father’s house and be under her father’s authority. The man would then prepare a house for him and his future wife and as soon as everything is ready, it is the father that chooses the day, the time and the hour of when the man would go and take his wife home, who has to be ready and prepared from the beginning of their betrothal on. She’d then be under his authority and leave her father’s house. That is also what Messiah meant when He said that He had to go to prepare room for us and that He doesn’t know the day, the time and the hour of His return. Scripture is rich in using such comparisons.
I believe that this scriptural model helps us to keep ourselves physically and emotionally pure. Either we are serious about it or we can forget about it. Thus there is no playing games from both sides and if the whole process is conducted according to scriptural standards, the Father will bless the couple abundantly as He loves to do. Since there is no one playing any games, there is no one that is being played with and thus the chance of someone being hurt as in our current society is much smaller.
I wish that more and more believers would return to these awesome values that scripture provide us with. We always seem to be very quickly with complaining about presidents and the economy and everything around us but when it comes to truly being able to be a light and live in the light, we seem to lack the ability to do so. Personally I’ve made my choice to walk this out scripturally and thankfully I’m being blessed with a girl that agrees with me on everything.
I hope that you, beloved reader will be blessed with someone like that as well and I hope that you’ll decide to protect your body and heart.
Proverbs 4:23—Watch over your heart with all diligence, For out of it are the sources of life.
1Corinthians 7:39—A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in Yahweh.